Dude, this seeeriously made me cringe and gag .. LOL Goddd~ X_X;

What the hell is wrong with me? I've been getting so easily jealous lately. I don't know why I suddenly feel so ... possessive of people.

God, am I REALLY that sickeningly insecure?

1. I've come to realize that my ex is:
plenty. ;) Actually, I'm surprised that I'm good friends with pretty much all of them.

2. I've come to realize that I talk:
a lot more now these days .. in fact, I tend to babble on sometimes w/o realizing it ..

3. I've come to realize that love:
is so simple and so complicated at the same time.

4. I've come to realize that I have:
a lot of good things in life and I really don't need so much STUFF.

5. I've come to realize that I lost:
a lot of opportunities back in high school.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when:
I do totally irrational things and I KNOW they're irrational yet I can't stop. It's like a CRAZY TRAIN :P

8. I've come to realize that marriage is:
truly a partnership in every sense of the word.

9. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking:
about pen0r & vagoo.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
struggling upward.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
NOOO ONE :O

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:
Friday night.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is:
one of the greatest investments I've ever made. Srsly. So many people take it for granted. Instead of letting it isolate me from people, I try to use it to my full advantage connecting with people.

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
it's really difficult to wake up.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:
toss and tumble with a million thoughts in my head.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
the throbbing pain in the entire right side of mah face.

17. I've come to realize that babies are:
really cute. Especially black and asian ones. ♥

18. I've come to realize that I get on myspace:
a lot more nowadays.

19. I've come to realize that today I:
am going to be screwed if I don't get that surgery.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
be screwed if I don't finish that art project.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
hang out with Ashley. :)

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:
travel.



Last week was a terrible week for my car. I got a flat tire the day before I was going to get new ones, got rear-ended the day I got them, and ran out of gas on the highway on my way to the gas station.

And right now, the right side of my face is killing me. x_x;

WWWWRRRRRRYYYYYYY

Sometimes I do feel like giving up. :|

I hate feeling like this so late in the night. There's never anyone to turn to.

Wow ...

Customs find beetles stuffed with cocaine

That's human ingenuity right there for ya.

I'm moving from my antisocial phase and becoming a people-person again. Hooray! :D

But today, someone rear-ended me. I was so stoic and desensitized by the whole thing because someone else (both people I remember from Kell) rear-ended me a few months ago. My ... poor baby .. ::sob:: Such a pretty car too ..

Augh, so much headache!

Also, one of my friends is starting to get on my bad side.

Sometime, I step back and wonder if I've even grown at all.

30 Unusual Lasts

1. To whom did you last give the finger?: Houston. XD
2. If you had 1,000 dollars what would you buy?: A Wii, some anime boxsets, manga, a shitton of clothes, and some pharmaceutical stock! SO I CAN BUY MORE OF THE ABOVE :D
3. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?: Milk from Starbucks. :(
4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago?: I'm always different. :O This year's been a big one ..
5. Have you kissed a girl/boy in the last three days?: Yush! ^o^
6. What was the last photograph you took?: AWA ... prolly some cosplayer. :3
7. Where were you last night around 9:30?: At the mall with Shef waiting for KT.
8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?: Pretty hot, I won't lie.
9. How many hours did you last sleep last night?: A full-bodied eight hours ... I accidently fell asleep and didn't go home. Panic ensued.
10. Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone for over an hour?: Shef,. 'course. He's like the only person I talk to for over an hour. :)
11. 50 Cent shows up at your door, what do you do?: Laugh my ass off and then be annoyed.
12. How was the last egg you ate prepared?: In plain friend rice a la Ru Sans.
13. Where did you last wear sunglasses?: At Wal-Mart, trying them on.
14. Ever worn your underwear backwards?: No ..
15. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?: KT.
16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence and ;; after?: People do that?
17. What animal did you last pet or hold?: One of the kittens @ Shef's. <3
18. What was the last law you broke?: Heh heh ... XD
19. What are you wearing?: Gauchos, navy blue soft cotton shirt and a headband!
21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?: KSU Sentinel. XD I'm such a dork.
22. What was the last word written on your hand?: Kids Murals Whitaker (Needed to look something up on Amazon)
23. What was the last hair product you used?: Hairspray.
24. What was the last text message you received???: "Wanna catch a flick?" from Shef ... and catch it we did not.
25. What was the last medication (Rx or OTC) you took?: Aspirin at AWA from some chick who walked into our hotel. XD
26. Who was the last person to make you really laugh?: Shef. We were giggling at everything last night, though. :P
27. To what song did you last sing along?: "What's Up, People?!" by Maximum the Hormone
28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?: Piano at AWA. Some Final Fantasy song ..
29. What was the last superstitious thing you did?: Only Shef will understand this: "giving back time."
30. What's the last good book you read?: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I don't really get to read all that much anymore.

I bought a helluva lotta manga today:

Nana Vol. 7
Train Man Vols. 1 & 2
My-Hime Vol. 1
xxxHolic Vol. 1 & 2 (Recommended by Beth)
Negima Vol. 1-3

Prolly the most manga I've ever bought ..

Comment and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you (to which you must respond).
8. You must post this on your journal.

I am experiencing some heavy post-con syndrome. AWA was a LOT better for me than last year. :D I wish I'd brought more money, though! But I got:

- Persocom ears
- A tiny gothic lolita hat (Both courtesy of GoddessBoutique)
- Handmade spiral earrings (Because I just got my ears re-pierced ^__^)
- A Neko hat (A con staple :P)
- Cute cellphone charm (ShopKawaii.com)

And then Shef got me a purse with a little Mononoke tree spirit on it (Because the one I got got stolen last year) and a bento box! <333 And I think I'm developing a new hobby as well. :x I went to a little Bento box workshop and discovered that there's this whole culture behind it. I made my first Bento today with veggie ham and cheese pinwheels, steamed broccoli, and melon cubes. <3

But I digress!

What I liked this year about AWA:

- I liked that Shef and I got the chance to actually get involved with the con, going to showings, workshops, gaming rooms, etc.

-AMV Hell 4. End of sentence.

-Totally Lame Anime had me ROFLcopter many a times. Probably one of my favorite events at the con; I've always missed it in the past. :x

- I got to see a lot of people I've been out of touch with, even if just for a little bit. :)
( Read more... )

^_^ I think my schedule is calming down ... I'm regaining more free time now. I've even had time to finish a little more of matt's commission, yay~ :X

I've been having to put together a portfolio for the longest time but I have run into an idea drought lately. :P On Deviantart, I've started collecting requests to fill my account up aaand hopefully, be able to pick a few to put into my official portfolio. Requests are still open, so if anyone wants a drawing done, comment me~! ^_^

What's been going on lately? I've still been listening to obscene amounts of Matisyahu. Last night, we had a humongous group go to Steak & Shake. I think we made the waitress want to kill herself. XD

Today, I got a new digital camera! :D Somehow, I always manage to go broke right after payday .. :x

I also went on a wonderful date with Shef to China Moon. @_@;; God, BEST Chinese food EVER. It's down the road from Cobb Galleria, visit there during AWA ... <3

Speaking of AWA, I am seriously tempted to go to Dragoncon tommorow night ...

As I was sitting in the car today, listening to Matisyahu (Dunno why but I've been listening to him nonstop) on my iPod, this feeling of intense love just overflowed me. Everyone's face just pulsed through my mind and I was suddenly aware of how much I absolutely love and worship every one of my friends. Their efforts, their aspirations, their suffering all became so real to me. Then my mind extended to strangers and celebrities and artists and writers and politician and I became aware of the fact that even though I may never share ANYTHING in common with a person, there is commonality universal to all beings: we all have gone through suffering. It isn't a cynical thought; rather, it is enlightening. We're all connected through suffering and we can all learn from each other from our experiences. We can all connect on a more intense and deeper level by allowing ourselves to share such a fundamental part of ourselves. And through that, we can transcend the suffering. And upon contemplating this (and missing my exit on the highway! XD), I realized just how much my friends have touched my life. Each and every person I've EVER met has been important in my life. Even if one thing changed, my entire life would be different. Funny how these paths and decisions throughout our lives bring us to the present. It's just beautiful to me. :3 I love all of you so much. <3

Hehe, I hung out with Beth this past weekend and I had such a wonderful time being with her again. :D And I've finally seen the end of Utena now! w00t. I looove j00, Beth! ^_^

And she made me two Peach icons! Heart~

Today I had a triple-shot iced white mocha with a pump of peppermint. MMM. o_o

This is so cool. o_o

I have been feeling so irritable lately and I'm not sure how to cope with it. I've been finding little things people do and little traits and tendencies annoying me more and more. I've been annoying myself, even. At the beginnign of this week, I felt so much peace and happiness and somewhere along the road, This emotional and mental discord just festered inside of me and wrapped its fingers around my entire body. I feel so tense now, like I am bound by something. I want to free myself from it but I am not even sure what the problem is.

Actually, it causes me even MORE agitation trying to figure out the problem. Maybe I shouldn't try to figure it out but to figure out a solution. It may simply be because I haven't slept too well. :| I want to get into the habit of meditating again. It would be nice to slow my thoughts down a bit and be attuned to my senses instead of the million thoughts a second I tend to have. A bit of yoga in the morning could help too. :3

I want to grab some cheap craft acrylic paint bottles, a piece of foam board, and go Jackson Pollack on the motherfucker.

I have been procrastinating heavily lately and I don't know why. o.o I have emails to reply to, Myspace and Facebook messages to return, people to call, lunches to set up, things to ship, websites to edit, blogs to comment on, marketing packets to write ... and I've been putting it all off.

I've just really been craving some time to relax. :3 Enjoy the last few days of summer and all that. Plus, I feel like I've been in horrible shape. I need to go to the gym more and become active. I need to get up earlier. Insomnia is killing me. ^^;;

I finished Deathly Hallows and plan on writing a review~ but I'm so laaazy ... XD Rawr.

Link of the day: One Hell of a Half-Time Show ...

I feel so irritable right now. I am so frustrated and my body feels like it's all wound up and I just want to yell or something to release all this tension. Worse part is, I'm not even sure why I feel like this right now.

Mood swings are bad things. :{

Almost done with Harry Potter~ :3

Well, started my new job at Starbucks and I like it so far. :) A bit intimidating but I managed the punch in the orders correctly today, awesome for me. :3 Everyone is really nice, which is wonderful; I finally got to talk to someone I see all over Target and all over campus: we met at a Pride meeting at school! ^_^ Neither of us could put our finger on why the other looked so familiar.

I am SO happy to say that the site for my business is almost DONE! OMG~! I will be so happy. I think I'm just going to end up using Dreamweaver ... I simply do not have as much time as I used to to become once again fluent in HTML. And I'm a designer, not a coder! XD Perhaps when I find time, I shall refresh my memory. Now, I have to organize my marketing plan. :)

Need to pick up my dad now, I shall update later this week. :)

Um ... what?? XD

I think I've done quite a lot this week. Shef and I hung out with Nick and listened to his adventures in Japan, I got a testimonial from Ms. Perry, I've sent an email to a past client, finally read some of Deathly Hallows, found a shitton of new, extremely useful blogs, finalized some decisions on Matt's commission, gathered a lot of marketing ideas, went to the gym, created CD labels, did some posters for Ms. Fitz, updated my websites, and got in touch with friends, new and old. I feel really good about the week so far and it's barely Thursday now. :) I think tommorow, I will go to the Marietta Square and take pictures for Ms. Fitz.

Last night, Shef and I were watching "War of the Worlds" and I realized just how much I missed doing that with him. I really want to start watching flicks again; I used to be such a big movie aficionado. I always carry around a mental note of what movies I need to see but they never pop up when I get around to actually writing them down. SO far, I have:

Letters from Iwo Jima
Marie Antionette
Zodiac
Black Snake Moan ( Seen it but I wouldn't mind renting it)
Garden State
Everything's gone Green
When Harry Met Sally
The Theory of Flight
Women Talking Dirty
Sixty-Six

Any ideas on what I should watch? :)

Also, link of the day: Top 15 Funny But Unintentional Comic Panels.

Shef, Devon, and my siblings all went to the midnight release of Harry Potter on Friday. :3 And got kicked out at 11:30.

XP

My brother's bag got confiscated and they found knives and nails and other such goodies and the manager decided, because we were regulars, that she wouldn't press charges. But we WOULD have to leave the store and not return for the rest of the night.

Sooo ... we got our copy @ Wal♦Mart. ^.^

Houston's reading it first, though. Booooh~!

So we've got two kittens we need to give away. If anyone know anyone who'd want one, contact meee~!

I think I'm emerging from that introvert phase yet again and I'm really in the mood to just meet new people. :D I want to hit up a club or party or SOMETHING. I just want to talk and to meet new faces. 'Course, I also need to hang out with people I've been neglecting because of said phase! However, I can't make any promises because I really don't know what my schedule is like this week. Oh, and for those who haven't heard:

I got the job at the Target Starbucks! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Kole! I'm very excited about it and I should receive a call from them tommorow. So far, Shef and I are planning on meeting Sean from my school for lunch and continuing our visit with Nick later this week. I really need to solidify some plans with Kole, Beth, and Mercedes.

Also, I am building that self-help community at the moment and trying to trigger an invitation blitzkrieg on random people. :) I'll post the link when it's finished.

Link of the day: The World in Only 7 Pictures.

I want to be able to write well again ... I miss writing. :| Any .. tips? ^_^;